


All That Glitter is Gold - Shrek AU

by StarryNightson



Series: PJ & Marzia [1]
Category: youtube - Fandom
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Fairytale, Best Friends, Blanc is Marzia's guardian snowman, Fluff, Gen, I dont ship them like that, LITERALLY, Marzia is part ice magic, Not Romance, PJ breathes fire, PJ is part dragon, Shrek AU, They are not ogres, sorry - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-27
Updated: 2018-03-27
Packaged: 2019-04-13 13:52:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,219
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14113743
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StarryNightson/pseuds/StarryNightson
Summary: PJ, is a part dragon-human, who lives alone peacefully in a cottage. Struggling to keep up with writing stories, he decided to talk a walk.On the other side of town, creatures and monsters were gathered and sold off to leave their place, as ordered by Lord Felix.Anti, a failed experiment from witches, gets sold off by his brother, Jack. He managed to escape and bumped into PJ.Lord Felix, desperate to make himself king, holds a tournament for knights to find him a princess locked in a castle on the Land of Ice, guarded by a gigantic snowman, Blanc.PJ finding his peace destroyed by creatures camping in his place, he decides to confront Felix to move away the creatures someplace else.Felix bribes him to do one task in exchange for his peaceful home. PJ accepts it and ventures with Anti to find this Princess.





	All That Glitter is Gold - Shrek AU

“Once upon a time there was a princess. She was locked away in a castle guarded by a terrible ice-breathing dragon. Many brave knights had attempted to free her from this dreadful prison, but none prevailed. She waited in the dragon's keep in the highest room of the tallest tower for her true love…UGH!” PJ stopped writing, crumpled the paper, and threw it. He groaned and looked the crumpled papers. There were about 10 of them. He stared at nothing for a moment until he looked out his window.

PJ was dubbed a madman, due to his crazy imagination, ideas and theories. He lived alone in a cottage because he was kicked out of his family home. He was well known as ‘The Reptile Man’. He was theorized to be a fire witch at some point in his life, but he wasn’t. It was a mere coincidence that he became fire proof that one time. He wished that it was also just his imagination when his skin had visible scales but it wasn’t as he grew they became visible until he reached 18, the scales became permanent; on his temple, shoulder, ankles, neck, wrist. But he was definitely not hallucinating when he suddenly cough fire, exhaled smoke and accidentally set his homework into flames. Okay, maybe there was something wrong with him.

“Is that…THE SUN?” PJ jumped at the sight. He was up all night, shit. He decided to stop working and hit the hay, then maybe wake up a few hours later.

 He laid on his bed and stared at the ceiling. He couldn’t sleep. He was internally screaming. PJ was a writer but most of his works were rejected because they were ‘too bizarre’. Right now, he’s trying to write something that will pass. He desperately wants his works to be published so he could earn money for a living, but how can he earn money if their imaginations were limited. But was that really the problem or were the people just scared of him?

With the silence surrounding him, he could easily hear people’s footsteps coming towards his cottage. He looked out his window and saw men with pitchforks, murmuring to each other, and stood meters far from his cottage, possibly spying on him. He went out by the back door and took another route around his house and stood behind the men.

“Think he’s in there?” One of the men asked.

“Alright. Come on!” One of them tried to walk past the other but stopped by another man.

“Woah there. This guy can breathe fire, he could torch us into ashes,”

PJ’s had enough and laughed sarcastically at them. “You’re right, I can do that anytime,” He startled them and they quickly backed away. ”I can grill you, or perhaps deep fry you for dinner!”

“Back away, beast!” One of them pointed his pitchfork at him. PJ rolled his eyes and took a deep breath. He set the grass around them on fire which freaked them out. They ran away, screaming, and PJ watched them, laughing. He could breathe fire, and he’s gonna admit now.

Somewhere, a bunch of supernatural creates such as witches, ghouls, shapeshifters, vampires, and werewolves were captured, chained, put in a cage, and being sold off.  Witches were chained with magic-proof chains, while the vampires were chained with normal chains. Ghouls had muzzles, while the shapeshifters had a silver one which burned their mouths, and the werewolves were caged. These supernatural creatures were captured because ‘The King’ abhorred  _monsters_. He decided it would be best for his ‘kingdom’ if these  _abominations_  were gone. So he ordered his soldiers and the chief guard to capture these vile creatures. Out of all these supernatural beings, there was one different from the others.

“What do you have here?” The chief guard asked. People who managed to capture a one or two creature were lined up together with their being, given silvers or shillings.

“A powerful witch,” Answered the man who was injured. He was given 10 shillings when the witch started to lash out, showing that it was clearly powerful. The man murmured something before leaving. “Next,” called out the chief guard. “What have you got?”

“Well, I have a demon,” A man in a funny Irish accent pulled his creature’s chains. The chief guard didn’t look convinced and grunted.

“I’ll give you 30 shillings. If you can prove it,” The accented man, looked at his creature and snarled at it, it snarled back. His creature’s fingers were bloody sharp, it had a slit on his throat, and its right eye had a green sclera, but it could also easily be a trick. “Go on Anti, show them what you are,” Jack gently said, but Anti didn’t do anything. He only stood there looking at Jack as if he had betrayed him. The chief didn’t have time for this foolishness so he decided to send them away.

“I've heard enough. Guards!”

“No, no, he's a demon! Shit!” Jack quickly took Anti’s special chain off. “Anti!”

“Get them out of my sight.” The chief commanded. When the guard got hold of Jack, Anti laughed and  _glitched_ away from them.

“I’m an experiment, not a demon! Good one, brother!” He smirked and continued glitching. The chief saw this and was dumbfounded. His guards stopped dragging Jack and watched as Anti glitch away from them. “The demon you’re looking for is out far far away!” Anti was too amused that he didn’t realize where he was heading only to be hit by a tree.

“Seize him!” Anti quickly got to his feet and started running.

“After him! He's getting away!” Anti panicked that he forgot about his glitch abilities. He was a failed experiment. Witches did it to him as they tried to create an abomination but ended up unsuccessful. The demon he was talking about was hard to capture. He was with someone else, but he wouldn’t betray the demon for money, they were close as if their lives depended on each other.

Anti wasn’t looking ahead of them, causing him to bump into someone. “Shit,” He whispered and ran behind the man.

PJ looked at the man who bumped into him and shook his head. He went out for a walk because he couldn’t sleep but only stopped by the posters of him with a caption of “reptile man.” Being called ‘reptile man’ bothered him. Now people thought he’s one of those supernatural creatures because of this. As he snatched another poster of him off a tree, he was interrupted by a bunch of guards.

“You there, reptile,” He rolled his eyes at the nickname and looked at the guards. The one in front of him raised a scroll and opened it.

“Yes?” While the other guards looked at him with fear, he wanted to play with them, so he exhaled black smoke through his nose.

“By the order of Lord Felix, I am authorized to place you both under…”

PJ started with a fake cough, sending small sparks of fire out.

“arrest and transport you to a designated... resettlement facility.” This time, he fake sneezed and set the nearest glass on fire. He playfully put it out and watched as the other guards run away.

“Really? You and what army?” He said sardonically. The last man standing looked behind himself seeing nobody and started to run away. He chuckled and decided to head back to his cottage.

 “Woah dude, that was something!” He heard a voice say, not from his head but behind him. “You breathe fire! That’s fuckin’ cool,”

“Are you talking to…me?” He turned to him and saw nobody there. His eyebrows furrowed and turned again, only to be greeted by a smiling man. “Woah!” He nearly stumbled backward.

“Yeah, you. That was awesome back there. You scared them away like, holy shit, you could have seen their faces!”  PJ continued to walk, followed by the guy who bumped into him and was very chatty.

“Yeah, nice,”  PJ replied. He didn’t know what to say since nobody ever complimented him about his abilities.

The man started to glitch out. PJ’s eyes widened but he was not scared. He noticed the guy’s neck. It was stitched, and the guy’s fingers were sharp, bloodied even, and his right eye was unusual. Maybe he wasn’t the only one with a burden, PJ thought.

“You teleported. What happened to you?” PJ asked out of curiosity. They still continued to walk towards PJ’s cottage but wasn’t quite there yet.

“Witches happened to me. Now the teleportation thing, it’s an ability I got from them ‘ol witches,”

PJ whispered a huh. “And the guards?”

“Got sold off,”

“Sheesh,”

“I know, sucks right?”

“Right,”

“What’s your name? I’m Anti,”

“PJ, also known as ‘Reptile Man’” He hated the nickname, yes, but he might as well have to embrace it.

They finally reached PJ’s cottage. It wasn’t much, there were a stream and a little bridge above it, the grasses were well trimmed, and trees surrounded the house.

“Burnt grass,” Anti whispered. PJ still wasn’t sure why Anti was following him.

“Is this your home?” Anti walked up, glitching around the building, studying it.

“Yes, now, aren’t you supposed to go home?” The British boy put his hands on his hip, looking at the glitchy man.

“Yeah, no. I don’t have a home… anymore,” Anti stopped teleporting and stood in front of PJ.

“Can I stay with you?”

“What?”

“Can I stay with you, please?”

The question caught the British boy off guard and looked at the leading man. He wasn’t used to visitors. He didn’t even have a guest room. He was always alone and he liked it that way. But the man said he no longer has a home.

“Fine,” PJ sighed. Anti’s eyes lit up and dashed, also teleporting, inside the house. He quickly sat on the nearest sofa, smiling. He looked at the interior and noticed the papers. He teleported to them and read.

“Stories, I love stories!” The experiment read the titles and started opening the crumpled papers. PJ wanted to stop him but he was desperate for a beta reader.

“You should write a story about the demon that spared a boy,” Anti continued opening the papers, seeing the same title but improvised intros.

“Hey! This story is real though. There’s an actual princess locked in a tower of ice, how’d you know this?”

“I didn’t” He really didn’t, the idea just came up so he decided to write it. PJ sat on the sofa, looking at the experiment that was amazed at his works.

“But it isn’t a dragon that guarded her, it was a bigass snowman. You write well.” Anti left the unfinished stories and went to find the finished ones. PJ let him because he wanted to share his eccentric imagination.

“Thank you,” The British boy smiled at the compliment.

 

That night, PJ woke up from his slumber. He finally slept at noon after he lent Anti a few of his books that managed to be published. There were at least 3 books that managed.  Anti read them on the sofa, amazed at the concepts and plot, he was invested in it that he didn’t realize the sun was setting. PJ went to the kitchen to make tea, with eyes still lidded; he didn’t care what he bumped into.

 Anti felt a familiar magic surrounding them. He brushed the feeling before he remembered it. He quickly shut his book and jumped from the sofa. The magic he was feeling was a witch’s magic. There were no witches here, where there? PJ in the kitchen noticed a presence behind him. He thought it might be Anti so he brought another teacup with him and settled at the dining table.  He poured tea into the cup and gave it to the man on the other end of the table, without looking up. He sipped his tea before he asked a question.

“How were the books?” He asked, now looking at the man. That was not Anti. His eyes widened when he saw a vampire at the end of the table.

“There are no—“Anti teleported to the kitchen and saw the vampire sipping his tea happily. “What?!”

PJ checked his bedroom and saw a witch sleeping. “What the,” Then more vampires surrounded the dining table, talking, drinking tea. The two looked at each other when they heard a bunch of people talking outside the house. “Fuck,” Anti whispered. They saw a hoard of supernatural creatures getting comfortable out in the open. PJ shrieked, getting the attention of the witches, vampires, werewolves, shapeshifters, ghouls. Then the werewolves howled with him.

 

“What are you all doing here?!” PJ screamed. It was so loud that it echoed until everything went silent. The supernatural creatures looked at him. The British boy was not amused by this. One person staying in his home is enough. Now, he is cursed with all these other things. It angered him. “All right, get out of here,” he shooed away the ones near his door. “I said get out!” He breathed a little fire to scare them away.

“We can’t,” One of the beings said.

“We were forced to come here.” Another continued.

“By who!?”

“Lord Felix…” One said. “He signed an eviction notice,”

PJ sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.

“Okay. Where do I find this—this Lord Felix guy? There was silence until Anti barged outside. He looked at PJ smiling.

“I do! I do.” Anti’s smile went wider. PJ sighed and eyed the supernatural creatures then finally looked at Anti and gave him a small forced smile. He then turned back to the supernatural creatures.

“Okay, fine. Attention, all...things. Do not get comfortable. Your welcome is officially worn out. I'm gonna see this guy Felix guy right now and get you all off my land and back where you came from!” He huffed. The beings were silent listening to his speech and had a silent moment after it then they finally cheered. They were all clapping, some were whistling, others yelled a ‘woohoo’. PJ rolled his eyes. He wasn’t clearly fond of loud noises. He pulled the glitch’s arm and dragged him with him.

“You’re coming with me,” PJ snarled unintentionally. He was just so annoyed, but Anti didn’t seem bothered by it, instead, he was still smiling widely. PJ picked up an unlit torch from one of the beings and lit it up, and then they started drifting away from his cottage.

“You know my brother and I used to sneak into the castle for fun,” Anti started as they walked away from PJ’s cottage. “We used to steal stuff…” Anti looked sad saying those things. Those memories made him sad…betrayed, dead.

 

At the Lord’s castle, Felix marched towards a dungeon. Felix was a perfectionist. He wanted to make a perfect kingdom and give the world what they wanted, but what troubled him as these creatures that lived with them. For some reason the last King allowed the creatures to live, he’s heard rumors that the last king was a half-monster. That explains it. How hideous.

He opened the doors, revealing a man tied up, clothes tattered, and eyes covered in a bloodied blindfold. The man was known as “The Author”, a prophet of monsters.

“Where are the others?”  Felix asked, calmly.

“I don’t know,”

Felix grimaced. He pulled the nearest dagger and gave the man a small cut on his exposed stomach.

“Kill me,” The Author cried in pain.

“Not until you tell me,”

“I don’t know,”

Felix gave him another cut. He was about to ask again but one of the soldiers arrived.

“We’ve found it!”

“Finally,” Felix grinned sinisterly.

The soldiers and guards carried a magic mirror down to the dungeon just because the Lord wanted to see it. Soon enough it’d be moved to his room.

The mirror was in fact magic. It was made by bored witches. They wanted to see everything and every part of the world so they made it and with a specific easy chant for it to work, “Mirror, mirror on the wall…”. Since now that the witches were hunted down, the mirror was as well hunted, and finally found.

When the mirror arrived, two guards held it up. Felix smiled at the sight.

“Mirror, mirror…”

“Don’t tell him anything!” The author shouted. Felix rolled his eyes and used one of the guard’s tranquilizer gun to shoot the man on his neck. The author let out a pained groan before blacking out.

“Mirror, mirror on the wall. Is this not the most perfect kingdom of them all?” Felix asked again.

The mirror started to show a hurling dust until a face, more like a mask, appeared. His nonexistent eyebrows furrowed from the question.

“You’re not even a king,” matter-of-fact. Felix didn’t like the response and frowned. One of his guards held up a handheld mirror that appeared out of nowhere and smashed it. The magic mirror cleared its throat or something like that.

“I mean, you not even a king...yet. But you can become one and all you have to do is marry a princess.”

“Go on,” Felix raised an eyebrow.

The mirror chuckled nervously before showing silhouettes of 3 princesses.

“So, just sit back and relax, my lord, because it's time for you to meet today's eligible bachelorettes,” The mirror said. “Bachelorette number one is a mentally abused shut-in from a kingdom far, far away. She likes sushi and hot tubing anytime. Her hobbies include cooking and cleaning for her two evil sisters. Please welcome Amy.” The mirror continued, showing a picture of a blonde in a yellow dress. Felix only nodded his head.

“Bachelorette number two is a cape-wearing girl from the land of fancy. Although she lives with seven other men, she's not easy. Just kiss her dead, frozen lips and find out what a live wire she is. Come on. Give it up for Emily!” the mirror said, showing a picture of Emily.

“And last, but certainly not last, bachelorette number three is a brunette from a castle guarded by a giant snowman in a land of Ice! But don't let that cool you off. She's a loaded pistol who likes pina colada and getting caught in the rain. Yours for the rescuing, Princess Marzia!”

The guards clapped their hands, and so did Felix.

“So will it be bachelorette number one, bachelorette number two, or bachelorette number three?”

The guards shouted numbers. This confused Felix, debating one and three. That was until one of the guards beside him said to pick number three. So he did.

“Lord Felix, you've chosen Princess Marzia.” The mirror announced.  The guards behind him clapped their hands, whistled. They were overjoyed.

“Princess Marzia. She's perfect. All I have to do is just find someone who can go...” Felix murmured.

“But I probably should mention the little thing that happens.” The mirror said, but Felix was too busy fantasizing his plan.

“I'll do it.”

“Yes, but-“ The mirror tried again.

“Silence! I will make this Princess Marzia my queen, and I will finally have the perfect kingdom! Captain, assemble your finest men. We're going to have a tournament.” He announced and smiled deviously.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I have no idea who Emily is  
> and I'm just taking this crap out of my ass  
> I made these ages ago but forgot about it  
> i don't ship marzia and pj like that, i only see them as siblings  
> just read until i finish this :)


End file.
